Happy New Year!

Haha. I guess I didnt do a grand CNY post.
Nothing much really. Just miss being with my parents and my sisters.

On CNY eve, I went for a facial (self reward). Then steamboat dinner with my chinese friends, malaysians and canadians.
That was fun.
Even though we all have school the next day, we stayed till after midnight, wished each other a happy new year, and had a last round of silly card game (the loser has to do a "truth or dare", using a software in iphone)

I dont wanna name anyone, but one friend chose "dare". And his dare was to put an ice cube down his pants until the ice melted. We all can't stop laughing.

The first day of new year was crazy - school from 830am to 530pm - but it's a HAPPY day.
Ok, I'll be honest and admit that I skipped the morning lectures. Haha. I did go to the afternoon class and small group discussions.

Should I talk about why I was happy?
Ok. It was a bit lame.
I had a tiny crush on a guy in my class. Actually, not really a crush. More like idolise. For more than a year already. Since we first start talking. I've never really noticed him in class before.

Admittedly, he's not the most good looking guy in class. And friends were always surprised when I told them that I think he's the most interesting guy in class. And as usual, I was criticised for my taste in guys. Whatever la.

But he's just so *cute*. I love how he's.....so different. He's very low profile, but very confident. People who dont know him will think he's a bit of a nerd (his specs, I guess), but he has a bad-boy side that he rarely shows.
I love his confidence. So bloody attractive. And he's so smart. He always seems to know the answer when asked.
And I just wanna melt everytime he winks.

Anyway, just a small motivation for me to go to school everyday. Hahaha. Now that's really lame.
But seriously, I really do admire his talents, and his attitude.

Obviously, I've already put him on a pedestal. So this is more like a celebrity-fan type of crush. I once shouted "(his name), wo ai ni" after his performance on stage, while everyone was still clapping. Mainly just to kacau my other friends la. Coz no one really understand why I have a crush on him.

Hmm... I still havent talk about why I'm so happy on the first day of CNY.
Ok, we had a doctor-patient interview roleplay in our small group session. We're in a group of three. I'm acting as the patient, him as my husband (wahahaha), and another friend as the doctor. I blushed like mad. I choked on my words when I told the doctor that we wanna have a baby soon.
Ok, so it was just acting. But I'm still happy. Haha.

I wonder if I should post this. I dont want my classmates to find out.

Mm..

Can we use this post to talk about Hugh Grant??

Really, why do we even bother to watch brad pitt, or daniel craig (for god's sake), when we can look into hugh grant's beautiful eyes?

Movies in med school

I just watched the movie "Lars and the real girl".
It was simply awesome.
The first half an hour was just funny. Lars (starring *AHEM* Ryan Gosling *woo-hoo*) was the most adorable character.
I dont wanna tell the story here, in case you guys havent watch it and wanna watch it.

I give it two thumbs up.

I didn't know what the movie was about before I walk into the lecture theatre. Well, yeah, I know it's a movie about some psychiatric problem, because we're on our psychiatric course now.
It was a last minute decision too. I just suddenly feel like staying back to catch the movie. Around 25% of the class turned up. My preceptor (awesome guy with great sense of humour) was there as well.

I love med school.

Last time, we watched "Extreme Measures", starring *ahem* Hugh Grant (Did I mention I love med school?) for our ethics course. And that movie was great as well.
Hugh Grant, needless to say, was super cute. Those lovely lovely eyes.

And this time, we have a Ryan Gosling movie. I havent seen him since "The Notebook" (another movie adapted from Nicholas Sparks book).

In "Lars and the real girl", he was funny, sweet, shy, a lil awkward. And he makes me just wanna hug him and say "everything will be ok".
The ending was a little unrealistic, but it was touching.

Learning about psychiatry is scary. You just cant stop diagnosing yourself.
And with every patient I meet, I was fascinated and scared at the same time. It was just crazy. No pun intended.

I need chocolate

Ahhh~~~
I overcooked my soup - from the best soup in the world (ok, I exaggerate) to the weirdest soup this side of Calgary (I'm humble :p)

I forgot what I wanna blog about. I still have a lot of pictures plang, but I think you guys already overdose on pictures from my last post. Haha.

Well, I fell down just now.
I hate Calgary (I'm kidding. Of course, I love Calgary). It was 17 degree celsius for the past few days, but the snow still would NOT melt. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the snow was almost two feet tall to begin with.
Anyway, it was watery + snowy + icy + studpidity = fall. At least this time I didnt hurt myself.

I dont know why I dread clerkship so much.
Clerkship will officially begins March 02. AHH!!!
And Toronto has accepted me to do 2 weeks of electives in general surgery in April. Haha. The bad news is, I have to buy my own tickets and find my own accommodation. SHit!
I think I should do my July elective in Brunei.

I should sleep.
Have to wake up for our psych core session early tomorrow.

My rOOm

Random pictures of my room taken using my nokia :D
Quality is not good, but what to do, my camera rosak, and I havent got a new one yet.

entrance
(= my door la)

I'm super excited about the year of cow. Haha.

One side of my room.
Poster of Venice, Italy.
My tiny window (I live in basement)
My bed + mirror.
Pictures of my family.

Bed from Ikea
My musical bear.
My favourite bedsheet.
I do not actually have a zombie in my room. Haha. Just to cover up something.

The print on my pillow cover.
It has a *fairy tale* theme. Although I've many others, this is my absolute favourite.
Just so that no one misunderstands, I wash them once every two weeks.

My iCat (cat version of iDog) and our lovely crinkles.
Crinkles still go everywhere with me. He usually sit on the pink ikea side table next to my bed, but if I'm going somewhere (for more than a day), he's coming with me as well.

Missing his daddy. Hehe.

One corner of my bed,
where Fafner, the dragon, sits (forever) under a *sun*flower

My small collection of snowglobes and kaleidoscopes.
Two of my favourite things

Sir Leonard Sidney Wescott
I call him Leo.
He's not feeling well recently. Not really swimming :(
Sigh. I guess I shouldnt blame anyone. It was my fault for leaving him here with a housemate while I'd fun in Brunei for 2 weeks+.

Milo ping.
Yum!
Th cup I bought from London + one of my best drinks (after teh tarik) in the world.

Guess what?
Huh? No la. It's my mat.
Haha. Used to keep my chair from rolling when I had hardwood floor in my last room. Now just to cover up the wire of our modem so I dont trip over.

Another corner of my room.
My seashells wind chime from Thailand.
My pink bookshelves - with lots of toys/dolls on top. Look. I have Paddington Bear. Yay!
My *creativity* wall - my sponsor child picture + drawing, my own drawing, hearts from rubbish, pictures made using pomegranate juice (I know), etc.
My whiteboard/schedule.
My monitor - with webcam and Mooer on top.
My chair and coat.

In my second shelf, lying on the side, is the framed cross-stitch Catherine made for me a year+ ago. I still find it very touching.

Mooer.
Birthday gift from my sister, along with a beautiful angel pendant from Diamond&Platinum.

My *sponsor child*, Sabhat.
For 2 years +.
She's 5 y/o now. Yay!

Sabhat's drawing.
Isnt that beautiful? Haha. I'm biased.

Hearts
Uhm.....made out of choclate wrappings. Haha

Yet another corner of my room.
Hanging lion from Hua Ho. Haha.
My dresses - I need more closet space.
Mooer.

The aforementioned pink lion.
Still thinking of what to name her.
Maybe "gong hei fat choi". Haha.
My James Rollins collection. He's a really really good author.

shit shit shit

I f***en forgot to wash my hands during OSCE just now. I only remember after my first session. That's THE most important point. No matter how good you are, if you forgot to wash your hands, you fail. Damn. I hope they wont fail me for remembering in the middle of OSCE. Sigh.

pre-osce babbles

It's always nice to hear someone tells you that you're a pretty girl. But when that person is a patient in a psychiatry ward, it sort of makes you wonder...
Hehe...


It's funny how you always think you cant live without something/someone, but when that something/someone is taken away from you, you adapt. Simple as that.

I used to think that whoever that invented air-cond is my hero. Haha. To me, it's one of the most important invention. And I absolutely can't live without my car. I need to drive it everyday even when I have nowhere to go.

Then I come here, and found some new love. I no longer need air-cond (bloody snow). I'm not driving (yet), but I found things I cant live without - computer, milk, tvb dramas, diet coke.

I have this crazy addiction with diet coke.

It's amazing sometimes.
When I went back to Brunei, Calgary is like a dream. I went straight back into my old self.
I go to salons, do my hair and nails (which I never did in Calgary).
I spent time dressing up (which I hardly ever do in calgary).
I leave my dirty clothes and dishes everywhere (which I can't do in Calgary). To me, it's totally reasonable. We have 3 maids, and a relatively small house.
I start driving 180kph (just for fun).

It's like, the moment my flight lands on Brunei, I'm back to be that spoilt princess.

And when I'm back in calgary, I'm a totally different person. I walk, or take the bus. I wear jeans and t-shirt. I'm obssessed with keeping things clean, if not tidy.

It feels a lil like split personality. Haha.


Anyway, my OSCE exam tomorrow!!!! Thursday and Friday. It'll be one history-taking session, and 7 different Physical Exam maneuvers.
I hope there's not too much neuro, dermatome, sensory, motor stuff. I hate those stuff.
Please no respiratory stuff as well. Thank you. Haha


Oh btw, just to share something from a book I bought from Singapore about Singlish

Singlish -- Proper English
Can ah? -- Can you or can't you?
Can lah -- Yes.
Can leh -- Yes. Of course.
Can lor -- Yes. I think so.
Can hah? -- Are you sure?
Can hor -- You are sure then...
Can meh? -- Are you certain?

Haha. Amazing, right? I never realise we're saying so much using so few words.

2009, Lizzy's

MOOOOOO.....It's the year of cow!!!

2009 started out as a very very soi year for me ah.
But hopefully it'll get better lor. Sigh.

Course 7 - Psych. Woohoo. I hate this course. I'll say this again. I hate it. It's too fluffy. Like clouds. You thought you can touch it like marshmallow, but it's just water.
I can't believe I once thought I wanna do psychology.

Btw, there's a HUGELY GIGANTIC difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist.
It takes 4 years of university to be a psychologist, but it takes at least 12 years of university, med school, residency to be a psychiatrist. So please dont get them wrong.

Again, I have very very low tolerance for certain personalities. So I dont expect I can spend the rest of my life being kind and empathic about other people mental status.

Anyway, school is hectic at the moment. I loathe very much.




Btw, for people who still don't know, I f***ing missed my flight to Vancouver when I was in Singapore. So I ended up spending a day negotiating with the ticketing staff, immigration staff, luggage staff, travel agent.

Luckily, my dad has a friend (business friend) in Singapore. He went to airport to pick me up, helped me to re-book my ticket to Calgary, brought me out for lunch and dinner. Also let me stayed over at his apartment, then sent me to the airport at 430am.

So the question is, why did I miss my flight?

HUH??!!

I'm sick of going through the scenario over and over again in my mind, and also sick of giving fluffy excuses. It was my fault. I didnt keep track of the time, and was late to the gate (by a few f**ken minutes).

So I spent B$1800 on a one-way ticket, from Singapore to Tokyo, to Chicago, then to Calgary, on the worst airlines I've ever had the privilege to be on (and trust me, I've been on a lot of different airlines, except AirAsia).

Anyway, I was absolutely fascinated with one of the shops in the aiport in Tokyo. Things are so different, so *Japan*. It makes me wanna forget Calgary and take a taxi out to Tokyo.

Pictures taken while inside the toilet.

Convenient baby seat for mothers who need to use the toilet.


Another picture taken inside the toilet.
Please read the fine print.
I wanted to laugh so badly when I press the "music" button. It makes this flushing sound that is supposed to cover any sounds you make whilein the toilet, but the sound is so fake that when you press it, everyone will know what is going on. Japanese are so cute.

This time flying back to Calgary, it's a little funny.
I've never before talked to any strangers I met on the plane, but this time, I talked to three different person on three different routes; as in really talk and getting to know the other person.

From Brunei to Singapore, a Shell guy from Singapore sat next to me, and started talking about his trips to Brunei and back to Singapore. At first, it was nice and fresh to be talking to someone who's so similar yet so different. After a while, you sort of wonder what his motive is. Haha. Maybe I think too much.

From Singapore to Tokyo, a Singaporean lady was complaining to me about her edema - swollen calf. I think she's worried about DVT (deep-vein thrombosis), and as a result, PE (pulmonary embolism), which might lead to death if untreated. I didnt tell her I'm a medical student. So she was telling me how her doctor told her she might die from the edema. I didnt know whether to correct her thoughts, or to just go along with what she said. I chose to just go along. I decided that it would be rude to do otherwise. She also wouldnt stop bitching about the flight attendant.

From Tokyo to Chicago, I sat on the same row as a Korean for more than 11 hours, but never say a word beyond "hi" and "thank you". When I missed my flight from Chicago to Calgary (I told you it's a very soi year), coincidentally he was waiting for his flight (to somewhere near New York) in a nearby gate, so he sat opposite me and we started talking.
In that short one and a half hour, I think I know more about him than I know about some of my *friends*.

People are so very interesting. In their differences.
Female talk differently than males. Female to female, we find it easier to bitch and gossip.
Older people talk differently. There's a sense of maturity, of practised speech, of wisdom.
Students talk differently. We have a sense of naive idealism, that can only be described a sinteresting. We dont really seem to be in touch with the real world.

A chick-like cookie I bought from Narita airport

I wanted to buy the green tea kit-kat, but it was ridiculously expensive for a small box of chocolate. 1500 yen. Oi. Only kit-kat ler.

Speaking of Japan, I've always wanted an Omamori - one of those amulet pouch thing that people get from japanese temples. Maybe one day.


I dont know if it's ok to say this, but I really find that the people in the states are not as friendly as the people in Canada. I'm not saying that the people are rude. There's just a more relaxed atmosphere in Canada.
The US has a big-brother aura that can be a bit intimidating.

However, I was always, always teased by the (male) immigration officers in the states. They're often fascinated with Brunei, and the fact that we dont need a visa to go into the states (Only 35 countries in the world can get into USA without a visa).
I was quite uncomfortable when he teased me about the reason I study in canada and not in USA is because I have a canadian bf. And I was absolutely speechless when he told me to get an american bf, then asked me what would I do if I marry an american.

Anyway, no big deal. Just friendly flirting. Mildly entertaining when it's over. But can be quite uncomfortable while in the situation.

I should sleep, before I slip into one of my psychotic moments, like my last post.
Haha.
I seriously suspect I have mild bipolar disorder, which is worse than my OCD (Obsessive-compulsive Disorder) with adding up numbers on license plates.

sneak peek

Yessssssssssssssssssss...I finally get to go Jurong Bird Park.

Bells ring. So familiar, important.

3.32 am
I can't sleep. Jet lag. Sitting on my chair. Listening to Imeem. Sipping. Wondering if I should have kept a stash of sleeping pills. No. I dont think so.

So I kept sitting. Coz I know I wont sleep.

Soon it'll be daylight. I'll be sleepy then, but I can't sleep. It's Monday. School day.
I hate mondays. I hate school days.
No. I don't. Maybe it's just stress. I'm horrible at handling stress. it's ok. Dont panic. I say.
So I let my mind wonder off. Again.

3.45am
So much on my mind. I have a habit. I have a lot of habits. But I have this ridiculous habit. Of keeping lists. I have lists and lists. All over. My laptop. My notebook. My organiser. My whiteboard. Papers on the wall. Papers in my pockets. Everywhere. Anywhere I can write.
Why? It keeps me sane.
I can't handle stress.
I make mistakes when I'm stressed. Mistakes. What mistakes. No. No mistakes.

3.58am
In the dark. I hate darkness. Always keep the lights on.
No sunset. Darkness comes after sunset. No more sunsets.

Everyone has fears. It's ok.
No. Not ok. Can't do this.
I dont wanna be alone. Not in the dark. I hate darkness. Repeatitions. Not repeatitions.
I'm fine.
I am.

4.07am
I'm tired. No. Not physically. Just mentally.
I can't go on. Not strong enough. Can't handle on my own.

Circles. A lot of circles.
No regrets. Only things I havent do. No. Not regrets.

I won't sleep. In case I won't wake up.
What do I fear. Just the dark. Nothing.

The sleeping pills. I keep thinking. Maybe. But no. I don't wanna sleep. Nightmares. Yeah. nightmares that wouldnt go away.

4.20am
I should read. Yeah. Read.
It'll be morning soon. Yeah. Should read. Pink elephants and talking candles. Yup. It'll be morning very soon. Then I wont sleep. No more square tigers. School. That's what. School. Yeah. It's ok.

Nights in Rodanthe

I dont know if you guys remember Nicholas Sparks.
He's the guy who wrote "A Walk to Remember". Would I be boo-ed if I said "A Walk to Remember" is not actually one of his best books? Lol.

I remember going to school with red puffy eyes after reading his "Message in a Bottle" the night before. Hehe. "Message in a Bottle" is definitely his best work, though the movie is only mediocre. In my opinion.

Recently, another of his book is out as a movie "Nights in Rodanthe", staring *ahem* Richard Gere (phewittt) and Diane Lane (anyone watched "Unfaithful"? Haha).

Anyway, I really like this movie. The little hotel by the seaside is absolutely lovely.
Richard's character is so sweet.
I couldnt stop crying in the end. It was so sad. Sigh.
And it does struck a lil familiarity with Richard's character as a doctor.

Should watch. Highly recommended for people who love romance. Haha


I miss home.

p/s: Vassco, thanks for coming to send me off at the airport! Sorry to keep you waiting for so long. Hehe.

-.-

It sucks when you're disappointed, unhappy, angry, upset, but you still have to pretend that you don't mind.
I thought I've already gotten over it, but apparently it still bothers me.

A little breeze

Empire Hotel will always has a special place in my heart.

I like the aura of the hotel. The whole feel of luxury and class. Not to mention the beach and the sunset. Also the pool and the spa. I even like the people working there.

And also a lot of memories, like....

- UBD field trip, looking at things like oysters, sea cucumber, etc. Somehow we all ended up in Empire Hotel, waiting for the bus driver to come fetch us.

- My first date with Mac.
We had lunch in the restaurant of the Country Club. Also watched a movie. Other typical dating stuff.

- A guy left a note on my windshield, inviting me to join their *supra* gathering at Li Gong parking lot, which I didn't go.

- A lot of *bu neng shuo de mi mi* as well. Hahaha.

- Anyway, now I have more new memories to add....

Me with jiun jiun

Me with shyang

Jie-jie and ti-ti

Grass Dolphins

January 29, pm
Empire Hotel