speech of silence + speeding

Tomorrow is my pediatrics OSCE exam. Sigh.
Wish me luck. I'm not ready

But I'm still watching drama. Haha. Speech of Silence.
An old drama (out June 08) that I never had a chance to watch, because there were too many other good drama with good reviews to watch at that time.

The drama is about a girl who can only hear through one ear with the help of a hearing aid. Of course a romance la. I've been looking forward to its release but when I was about to buy the dvd, my friend doesnt recommend it. She also has a hearing problem, and has been wearing hearing aids since childhood. And she says the drama is not realistic.

Now I'm sort of out of drama to watch. So I thought I'll just give it a shot.
And I like it!

I love the theme song. Very meaningful lyrics.

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I was stopped by the police for speeding last Sunday. Haha. Not surprising at all, right?
The speed limit was 110kph. According to the police, I was going 135-141kph. Can you believe that? My slowest speed on a highway in Brunei was 160kph. 141kph is already very give face liao.
Anyway, I was super blur.

He asked "Are you a student?"
I say "yeah"
he: "what other things can you do with $186?" (price of the fine)
I looked at him, blur, unsure what to say.
he: "what does $186 means to you?"
me: "uhm"
he: "maybe two-third of your monthly payment for the car, huh?"
me: "uhm"
he, maybe tired of me looking blur and not saying anything, asked "how much do you pay for the car lease monthly?"
me: "uhm....I paid cash"
he: "oh! then maybe you can afford the ticket then"
I just smiled, again unsure what to say (and distracted also la - good looking police kali ah)

I guess I expected him to simply write me a ticket + a warning to slow down. I didnt expect a 5-minute conversation.

Anyway, he didnt write me a ticket. Lucky eh?
I never even explain why I was speeding.

I've heard of many other crappy speeding excuses and I'm not about to use it (Google "speeding excuses" and you'll see what I mean). If I have to pay for it, get my points deducted and my insurance going up, I dont really care.
When he asked me "what does $186 means to you?", I almost answer "nothing", which will be a BAD answer.

Thinking back, maybe I should have said "I can use it to sponsor another child for 6 months", coz Plan Canada has been bugging me to sponsor another child and I'm thinking of doing it.

Silas is a good car. But not very stable, and really really slow at picking up. It frustrates me a lot of time. The cornering sucks big time. And I feel very unsure of the car.
I guess it's very unfair of me to compare it with tristan. And I guess I'm glad I didnt buy a supra. Otherwise I'll have more speeding ticket incidents.


And something funny to show you guys. I went to the Science Centre in Toronto, queued for more than half hour for this machine. It looks scary. Click on it to see a better version.



p/s: Jocy, thanks for the card. It's soooooo cute. And in my 3 years of staying in canada, I've sent countless cards and postcards, but have only received a postcard from vassco, a birthday card also from vassco, and this card, so I really appreciate it.

Red Deer

Just came back to Calgary for the weekend.

I was in Red Deer for the past week, doing my rural Paediatrics rotation.
Notice that it says rural, so I was expecting a small town like Tutong, but guess what, it's even more happening that the whole of Brunei combined, big shopping centres and all that jazz. I felt cheated.

But of course, I like it a lot. It's like the perfect balance. It's a LOT smaller than Calgary, but it still has everything you need.

The only thing that drives me mad is that there's no internet where I'm staying (at a nurse's house, with her sister, also a nurse).

And also not sure if the fengshui in Red Deer suits me ah. I've been really unlucky (and lucky) ever since I get there.

On my first day, Monday, I lost my parking pass (which will cost $10 to replace), after repeatedly being warned not to lose my id card, pager and parking pass.

Then when I got home, I set the house alarm off. No one was at home, and I didnt know what to do. I dont have their cell phone numbers. A few neighbours came out to look at me. After a really long time, the owner told me that the alarm company called her. Luckily they didnt send police eh.

The next morning, when I was about to get a new parking pass, the lady told me that someone returned the pass! How lucky!

On Wednesday, I lost my car keys. I'm all alone in Red Deer. I couldnt go anywhere without my car! My spare key is in Calgary (1.5 hours drive away). I dont know what to do. Maybe the keys are inside the car. My car is in the basement, really dark, so I borrowed a flashlight from the security.

I called my mum. Then I called my auntie in Calgary, and finally, I called the roadside assistance to help unlock the door. Luckily, the keys are inside my car, sort of under my seat. That's why I didnt see it when I look through the windows. Otherwise, my auntie will have to drive all the way to Red Deer.

I bumped into the security in the cafeteria yesterday. He recognised me. Malu eh.

Actually, Red Deer shuo da bu da, shuo xiao bu xiao (not big, not small). And I've gotten lost a couple of times. Without my GPS, I dont think I'll get anywhere.

As for my actual rotation, it's.......
I dont think I like Paediatrics as much as I originally thought I do.

I was on call on Thursday. I started at 8am, I thought I'll finish at 8am the next day, but I only left the hospital at 12 noon. 28 hours. I'm impressed with myself
I did get to nap a few hours plang, but I was super exhausted by the time I drove to Calgary. Luckily I get to take Saturday and Sunday off this week, but next week I'll be on call weekend :(

And then the anklet I've been wearing for almost 2 years broke. Luckily it was in bed so I didnt lose it. So I guess I'll be anklet-less until I go back to Brunei to get it repaired. I left my other anklets in Brunei too! Sigh! It feels weird without the anklet, as if something is missing.

There it is - my one week *rural* adventure with lots of soi moments, but also lucky that there's no permanent losses or damage!

buttons

I just realised that I never post about the guy in San Francisco? Or did I?? I dont remember.
Anyway, why do I suddenly mention this?

Well, a guy (stranger) asked me out just now >.<
I told him that I'll be going back to Calgary tomorrow (the truth is I'll be going back the day after tomorrow).
Well, I dont really remember but he said he saw me two days ago on the bus. Very cute, but this type of thing scary la.

And suddenly, it occurs to me that such thing always happen when I'm traveling, rarely in calgary. In London, Thailand, San Francisco, and now Toronto.

In San Francisco, me and my friends were looking for a restaurant to eat dinner when a guy suddenly stopped us and showed us a live crab. We were all very confused, coz it's not like we've never seen crabs before. I guess the guy expected us to be sakai.
Anyway, then he insisted that I took picture with him, and I almost bolted when he put his hand on my waist. But being polite, my friends took some picture, and then the guy started asking my name, age, if i'm married, bla bla and then he said he wanna be my bf. Imagine my shock. My friends wouldnt stop kacau-ing me about it. Luckily they didnt post the picture on facebook!

Well, things are more boring in calgary. More innocent flirtings, but I'm not comfortable with flirting, so there's still certain places I avoid. Like a restaurant that's across the street from my house. I've only been there twice when the son of the restaurant's owner called me "leng lui" (cantonese slang for pretty girl (??)). I know it's probably very innocent, but it feels so creepy to hear that from a guy who's probably my age, so I pretended not to understand, but politeness compelled me to answer his questions about my name, school, home, etc etc. I felt very uncomfortable, so I never go back to the restaurant again, although the food is excellent and it's only a mere 3-minutes walk from my house.

Suddenly I sympathize with those pretty girls who must get picked up by guys very often. It must have been really annoying, but at the same time, it must have made things easier to have more practice at rejecting people nicely. Haha.
But I've learned a trick - To avoid appearing rude, it's ok to answer questions, but never ask a question.

Too bad I never am interested in those guys that show interest.
Hmm. Except one. A few months ago in Calgary. But I've to go before we can do more than exchange names. And we never met again. I love his wink.

best memories

Today is my last day of elective in Toronto. Super sad la.
I know that I'll always miss this hospital, the friendly staff, my super caring resident and preceptor.

I've always thought that I've steady hands. I seem to have an easier time doing lab work, experiments, dissections than other people. That's the main reason I wanted to do surgery. And it also helps that I'm a perfectionist when it comes to practical stuff like that. Like when I suture, I have to get it perfectly straight, perfectly spaced, and my knots exactly the same (OCD??)

But to hear from a surgeon (my preceptor) that he thinks I've talent with my hands, is soooooooo awesome. The best chocolate cake on earth wouldnt even be comparable.

He also loves to tease me, especially after I told him that I might consider Neurology. He encouraged me to go into surgery, and said that I'll be wasting my hands talent to tie patients' shoelaces in Neurology. He said that I should choose what I like, but definitely surgery. He also offered to write me a reference letter without me asking for it!

And the resident. I really really like her. I wanted to cry when I said good bye to her just now. For the past two weeks, she's taught me, guided me, protected me (from scary doctor). She always make sure I'm not hungry or thirsty. She even gave me her dinner on the nights I'm on call. She's always friendly, always happy, funny, but also smart and an awesome surgeon. She's the one who encouraged me to go have fun around Toronto. No one has ever cared so much about me before.
She's just such an awesome person that if I decide to do my residency, she'll be my role model.
And also she can speak at least 5 languages, including Malay (She's a caucasian). She also know sign language. Isnt that cool?

My preceptor gave me a hug before I left, which was sweet, coz now the team truly feels like a *family*. I love hugs, but everytime I feel the urge to hug someone, I always hesitate, held back by my personality/culture/background/whatever. But I guess it's only a matter of time before I fully embrace the culture here.

I'll miss the coffee shop, "second cup". I didnt drink much coffee, but I love the cheesecake. Yummiest blueberry cheesecake!!


side note:

- People kept thinking my name is lychee. I keep getting the question "leeshi? like the fruit?" after I introduced myself. One chinese surgeon intentionally called me lychee throughout the whole surgery I was with him. One chinese nurse who spoke cantonese called me "lai chi" instead of "lai see", my name in cantonese.
Well, I'm totally ok with it plang. Lychee is cute *pauses to roll eyes*. I just find it.......interesting?

- The OR (operating room) is a great place to learn swear words. I keep hearing the f word and some other more creative terms from the surgeons. It's no big deal plang, but just a bit shocking in the beginning, especially when blood was gushing and I panicked.

- My hands are a mess now. Not sure if I'm allergic to the scrubbing soap or if I didnt wash/dry thoroughly enough. I've been itching like crazy for the past week, especially around my wrists and my elbows.
And of course I scratches like crazy too, which is even worse, coz now I have excoriations, secondary infections, in addition to the dermatitis.

- Too bad for patient confidentiality, I have a few really good/funny/weird stories but I cant share.

vacation/elective

I've been lazy to blog coz I need pictures!!

I'm leaving Toronto in a few more days. Sad. Coz Toronto, to me, has been like a dream vacation. I dont wanna go back to reality >.<

And I love traveling alone, trying to figure out the bus, the subway, the train, the streetcar. I love holding the map, trying to figure out which way I should go.
Should I walk? Should I find the bus stop? Or should I just sit in starbucks and enjoy a cup of delicious Latte first?

The most liberating about traveling alone - every decisions is MY decision, so if I make a bad one, I'll live with it. No big deal. I can walk two steps up and then change my mind. But whatever step I take, it's mine.

I guess I'm just not good at interacting with people, so I rather do things alone. I love to shop alone. I eat alone. I go cinema alone.
Does that makes me a very selfish person??

Dont get me wrong. I love going out with friends as well. I love gatherings. I enjoy gossiping (opps), laughing too loud, singing off key, taking wacky group pictures.
And I love road trips!
What I'm trying to say is doing things alone is a totally different experience. And I love it, perhaps more than other people do.

I particularly HATE it when you ask someone where they wanna go/eat/do and they say "sui pien", loosely translated to "Anywhere. Doesnt matter", but when you make a suggestion, they say no. And then no. Until you guessed what they actually want.
Isnt that just a stupid waste of time and plain mean manipulation??

Anyway, enough of that.

So I went to the museum (ROM - Royal Ontario Museum) last weekend. And also Casa Loma (a big castle in the middle of Toronto, which almost looks out of place). I'll post more when I have pictures.

Today is Wednesday. No OR and clinic today. So I'm going to the zoo!!!
I love zoos. They make me happy.
Also going to the CN Tower if weather permits. No point going if it's cloudy and foggy.

Haha. It sounds like I'm on a vacation instead of doing my elective.

Next week, I'll be starting my core rotation. No more elective. Pediatrics first! I heard that it's intense! Shit!
I'll be starting with 3 weeks of rural paeds, in Red Deer, a small town about 2 hours drive North of Calgary. Again, will be staying in a place rented by our program. Hopefully it'll be as nice as the place here!

Toronto is........

...hmm.... I dont know if I wanna live here, but I definitely love the hospital that I'm currently working in.

It's called the St Joseph's medical centre.
It looks like it's at least 100 years old. A little European style, and a little historical feel to it that Lizzy loves.
They even have the classic door-and-gate elevator that you have to pull to get in. One of the light switches I noticed even has a tiny sticker on it that says something like please switch off lights when not needed, 1957, and that switch was found in one of the newer wings of the hospital.

Another thing is that it's very Roman Catholic, so that adds an extra *European history* feel that I like. I saw a few statue of St Joseph with baby Jesus. It just has that slightly *old* and *run-down* look that is awesome.

I wish I have a camera with me, but mine is rosak. Huhu~

Maybe because it's a very small hospital, most of the people are super friendly, which is a nice surprise, because the people in Toronto is generally not very friendly. Maybe because it's a big city. On my first bus trip, the bus driver ignores me when I asked him a question. And that makes me miss the super friendly drivers in Calgary!

The same with the city. Well, at least this part of the city. I havent been to the downtown yet.
There's a lot of very very old cute houses that looks slightly neglected. A little mysterious. A lot of history. I love it.

So overall, so far, to me, Toronto has this charming air of chaos - a mixture of new+old, which is slightly messy, but absolutely charming. I just love the messiness.

The streetcar is charming too. I took it everyday to go to and back from the hospital.

And of course, no matter which city I'm in, I always go to Chinatown!
I love Chinatown.

As for elective, I've been having the best elective time ever.
The resident is super super nice. Very understanding and caring. I'm still doing 2 calls per week, but that's ok, coz I get to take Wednesday off!! Well, I still went for a few hours on Wednesday to see some GI scoping, but if I wanted, I could have taken the day off. Sweet!

And I've been scrubing in for every single surgeries, which is awesome, coz I only get to scrub in once in the whole 2 weeks of general surgery elective I did in RIPAS last year.

There was a medical student from Germany who's doing her elective too. Today is her last day. I already miss her. She's so nice, not to mention beautiful. Taught me a lot too.

The house I'm currently staying at is absolutely LOVELY. The owner has very good artistic taste. Everything is simple but beautiful, with bold colours, modern light fixtures, big flat screen tv with surround speakers. Disco balls and crystal floating around too.
And it always smell like vanilla, which is awesome, except that it makes me perpetually hungry.

My room is beautiful.
I love the lights! They're sort of twisted in a row from the ceiling to the wall. I'll have to show you guys the picture I took with my nokia (but I left my card reader in Calgary).
Gorgeous white sheet, a flat screen tv, built-in closet, frosted glass door, window with view of Starbucks. The only thing that would make my room perfect would be a mirror!

The owner is super nice and easy going. He brought me to the grocery store when I first arrived, and we had thai food delivery for dinner. Absolutely delicious.

I'm thinking of going to Niagara falls this weekend. But I really wanted to go to the museum and science centre nearby, just in case I dont have time next week.
We'll see.
It's just that everyone who's been to Toronto WILL definitely go to Niagara Falls. It's a tourist cant-miss.